the static bullshit is getting old

Ever since that creepypasta about Candle Cove started floating around, a lot of episodes were uploaded onto youtube. That's pretty amazing on its own, as the show only ran on a local station in the late 70's, so even just having a copy of the show is rare enough, but going through the arduous task of uploading them on youtube is really more than I would ask of my worst enemy.

But, see, this creepypasta ended on the premise that the show was nothing but static, which is an awesome ending for a creepypasta and all, but it is severely hampered by it being a real show. I mean, thinking it through, for the best results, you would want something real, so that if you bothered to investigate it you would find it, but rare enough so that few people have heard of it and assume it to be fictional, as well as something that wasn't already all over youtube.

The problem here is that wherever you go on youtube, you get all these trolls talking about how the episodes are just static. It's amazing how persistent they are.You really can't have a normal conversation about this show without someone bringing up "static" at some point. It's really getting out of hand, and the joke is old now.

But now it's even weirder. Some trolls have seen fit that leaving comments about static on the few episodes on youtube isn't enough. They have to upload their own videos that are intentionally nothing but static.

I really like the creepypasta and all, but sometimes you have to separate fantasy and reality, you know? Especially with me being all about hauntology, this sort of treasure from the past is cool enough on it's own, and I don't really care to navigate through troll videos just to find an episode.

P.S. If you can put up with it, there's a pretty funny series of videos with this clueless kid pretending all he can see is static for like, 6 videos or something starting here (lol pothole).


Some THINGS you might want to know...

...if you were as giddily optimistic about the Thing prequel as I was.

1. Not EVERYTHING matches up with the original movie. Lots of nods are made, but there is one outright glaring error that made the climactic scene to hard to watch. The whole time I couldn't pay attention to what was happening because I was all "why is there still ice covering the fucking space ship?" We also don't get to see one of the deaths... that's kinda a spoiler since there's no way to hide it. Yeah, the guy who gets his wrists and throat slit? We don't see that happen, just some cutaways at the end, which is the biggest red flag for a deleted scene since not seeing the swamp in the 2006 King Kong.

2. Don't worry, the subtitles are there. Only thing is, there's only one crazy swede who doesn't speak english in the whole damn movie, so it is never an issue. A monster who uses paranoia as a weapon... and they miss the chance to put up a language barrier. Lame, but whatever. There is about one minute of playing norwegians against americans, but it's just a shouting match and doesn't actually go anywhere, and ends as quickly as it began. So, the paranoia between the crew this time is the exact same flavor as the last time. A missed opportunity, for sure, but it doesn't really hurt the film so much as...

3. In the credits, you can see Tom and Alec (from, you know, 5 of the 6 alien movies?) listed as special/make-up effects... but there aren't... um... any, to be quite blunt about it. Being completely honest here, there's only one scene that features a living Thing created practically. But you can't really see it. It's in its original form, which is way different from what you'd expect (but nicely explains where the arthropod-like legs it uses came from), hiding under a shack. And it's only the legs. So, Alec and Tom, who made the fucking rod puppet from Alien 3, made some squiggly spider legs. That's what they did.

And OH MY GOD is the rest of it horrible. I would have laughed if I wasn't so disgusted with all the grave pissing going on, and I'm like 90% certain Rob Bottin is still alive, so they're just pissing in some guy's face.

Yes, that's the best way to describe the sub-plan 9 effects going on here: like pissing right in Rob Bottin's face.

All that aside, it's still a "good" movie. It's enjoyable, has some of the same feel as the first one, and the ending is awesome. Actually, the ending is the best part. And not like the "time to wait in the cold" part, but the good part, where you find out who was shooting at the dog in the beginning of the first one. I need to specify because they intercut the fucking end titles over it. Like, it's the best part of the entire movie and they're trying to file people out of the theater. That's bonkers.

So it does mean that you will have to wince and cringe through the entire movie. This was not the great fuck you to the second renaissance of CGI as I was hoping. It only manages to make things worse.

Which makes me just want to ask, in case anyone is listening:

WHY are people STILL using CGI? Honestly, I need to have a real answer at this point, because the more I see the worse it gets. At first it just looked out of place, like in Jurassic Park. But a 90's audience can easily ignore that because at the time it was new and cool, and computers were the future man. The information super highway and all that. But as more and more films made use of it, it grew old fast. It became really apparent really fast that it looked fucking awful. Like, really bad. REALLY, REALLY bad. And it took awhile because kids are, as a rule, retarded, but by the early aughts it was a discredited trope, and people started using REAL special effects again.

So... why did this second renaissance happen? I remember being really impressed with GMM and the SH movie's use of integrating the two technologies, but is it their fault? A Godzilla movie from 2003 and an art film based on a video game about personal trauma with tank controls that only people like me play surely doesn't have any real influence on hollywood, right? CGI is a hell of a lot more expensive, right? And if the technology really has gotten better, the new CGI shouldn't actually look WORSE than the old stuff, right?

So what is it, then? Why do people make creatures 100% in a computer, when they couldn't composite a sticker in an album, they have no fucking clue how physics work, they don't understand heavy things move slower that lighter things, they don't understand that not every single movement is smoother than the rockies, they can't stop the FUCKING TEXTURES FROM STRETCHING, they have no fucking sense of style, and... well, they can't do a god damn thing right at all.

I've been bitching about this since Godzilla lost his crown, or perhaps more accurately, since one of the american producers on GINO 2 outed the projected as, you know, GINO 2. I never gave Cloverfield much shit because working from a camera literally on the streets of the city itself, a hollywood faggot like Gay Gay Fagbrums would obviously resort to the most expensive and, for him, easiest solution. Sure the movie looked like shit, but we all knew it would be a B movie from the start, so no one cared. Before this, with the AVP movies, the Underworlds, and all the independent Japanese stuff, CGI had become such a non issue I stopped affording it any credibility.

Now it's killed off the king of the monsters and turned a prequel that's been trying to happen for, geez, 10 years or so, into, effectively, a forgettable B movie unless you are obsessed with the original as much as me.

Meanwhile, Ultraman is going 3D. That's super bad ass, but because Tsuburaya has an irrational fear of any type of currency other than yen, I'll never see the damn thing.

The world of monster movies could really use a hero right now...

Oh, I'm not implying Prometheus will be that hero, but I just remembered and this is important. Here are some leaked pics I know next to nothing about, only that almost everywhere I hear about them, Fox asked for them to be removed. Since I'm not a faggot, these aren't going anywhere. Could they be red herrings? Maybe, but I'm moderately sure these are the images Fox doesn't want being seen.

Gee, those sure look like eggs, don't they? And what do you think they need to use that flamethrower on? You know, I like Rodan too. Atragon is amazing. Frankenstein vs. Baragon is the greatest iteration of the Frankenstein story ever told, bar none. So, I have absolutely no problem with a non-alien alien movie. Space Jockeys are wicked radical to the max, and 90 minutes of them is a sweet deal as far as I'm concerned, even if that dipshit Ridley "gay faggot" Scott has anything to do with it. Another stupid, boring movie that doesn't understand there is a limit to how long you can hold an audience's suspense if you don't give them a reason to keep caring? As long as I get to see a new, practical monster, I'll still get the DVD. Or maybe see it in a theater once and then download it if I can find the motivation for it.

But, yes, apparently the egg chamber is gonna be a set in the film. If it's that closely connected to the first Alien movie, then the obvious choice is to show us the Jockey Alien. Because I have no faith in cuntbags with massive misplaced egos who have shown time and time again they have no interest in coming up with new or interesting ideas, I'm guessing we'll probably... just see more aliens.

Ridley Scott is a pretentious sack of shit who thinks he owns abstract concepts. I actually wrote like two more paragraphs of mouth-foaming nonsense about how fucking terrible that guy is, but you probably don't want to hear it. Thing is, the alien fanbase is the absolute worst I have ever seen in my entire life, so I can go off on it for the longest time, but I don't need to get into that now. I've already badmouthed two series I really like, so, let's wrap up by saying something nice about both of them:

The Thing: the new movie isn't as bad as it could have been, and special effects aren't the most important part of a movie... unless it's a monster movie. Ok, I still liked it though. In a Megalon sort of way. Well... when there's no monsters around, it's actually really good.

Alien: Ridley Scott's movie wasn't THAT bad. It introduced the character (designed by Dan O'Bannon and H. R. Giger... and, you know, NOT Scott) fairly well, the chestburster scene was dead on, and a genuine shock for the audience. There must be fans who still buy into the franchise, or else Fox would drop it altogether. I'm sure that Prometheus will have at least one scene, like the chestburster thing, that some actual thought was put into, and it will be great. It can't possibly be as bad as Manos. And if it turns out to be super boring, I can have someone wake me up when the monster shows up.

See guys, there's always a silver lining. Both of these series (for The Thing, only counting from the 82 film and up) have been incident free since the outset, so, isn't it about time they had some Megalons? You can't be perfect all the time, right? I'm sure things will get better again.

At any rate, Prometheus isn't going to be as stupid as AVPR. Of this I'm sure. Whether the monster will be interesting enough to counteract the boringness of it is different. It's hard to make a movie so bad I won't watch it even with a praetorian predalien, and I've wanted to see a Space Jockey for a lot longer.

...fuck that's a lot of ranting. At this rate, I'm liable to reach trekkie depths of nerd-rage. :O GODZILLA ISN'T GREEN HE'S GRAY GET IT RIGHT!!!!111!!1!!!one >=/


Let's Play Internet Roulette Page 4 & 5 (FINAL PART! :D)

Once again we have very few pictures of, you know, Godzilla, and most of it is neo stuff. King Kong, Jiras, Manda, Godzuki, Gorosaurus, Anguirus, and and and...

Automatic 20. Unless somepony ships Godzilla with Zilla on the next page, we've already won.

http://dino-master.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-134511432?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=72 Green AND spiky! *vomits*

http://bayanghitam.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-106577074?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=76 Unless this is supposed to be one of those monsters from The Fairy and the Devil, I'm not sure what the hell this is even supposed to be. It's certainly not Godzilla... which is what it's named. So... I don't understand this at all.

http://banenacent.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Rampage-10633217?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=79 oooooh... so close. Maybe if you were such a big fan, you'd have, I don't know, WATCHED one of the damn movies? Yeah, Godzilla is grey. Try again.

http://tavaresg.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-159932202?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=78 I kinda want to give this a point... but it looks waaaay too constipated for me to feel comfortable with. Plus, we're done next page anyways, so it doesn't even matter.

http://pyrasterran.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-113509888?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=81 GAAAAAAY. =/

http://art-minion-andrew0.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-revamp-2-77328317?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=93 WHAT?! Why is he a fucking zombie?! Let's listen to some creator commentary, shall we?

"Was asked to do a re-design concept of Godzilla for some folks who wanna make a short series of movies. 

I was supposed to make him look seriously evil, and I think it turned out pretty well. ^_^"

Okay, so... "some folks" are going to do a short series of movies. Sounds like a couple of fans want to make some fan films, then? Okay, well, fan films don't usually have much of a budget, and so complete projects in the kaiju world are pretty rare, and when they do pop up, they are either unwatchable, over the top, or both. If he requires a "re-design," I'm guessing this is one of the over-the-top ones.

You can tell that these people won't ever finish their "series." In three years, we should have heard something by now. Also, judging by the notion that he's supposed to make Godzilla look "seriously evil," I'm guessing these people are all 11 years old.

And the Page 4 total brings us to 86. Even just a crossover would spoil our perfect run, so let's look at page 5:

There are only six pictures of Godzilla on this page. The rest are of Megaguiras, Vagnosaurus, Dagarlah, Hedorah, Rodan, Ookondoru, Battra, Megalon, Zilla, Moguera, Ganime, Mecha-King Ghidorah, and on and on.

Of those, only three are really +1 worthy. So that gives us 23 points and a grand total of 109, which means we have won the game in only 5 pages. I dare you to do it faster.

What IS notable is that how this little exercise has exposed how batshit insane the Zilla fandom is. Not only have we been coming across various pieces titled "Godzilla" that have only Zilla in them, but they also showed us, on our last page, exactly what the comic this is a response to was talking about:

Here we have Zilla sleeping next to a gigantic human female, which I'm sure is exactly the kind of sexual fetish that fuels the creepier stuff on dA, who ALSO happens to be from some other pre-existing series, although I'm not going to go out of my way to find out what.

Even if we counted this because it is a part of the greater Tohoverse, it would still be cancelled out by all the GOOD art of GOOD Toho monsters.

aaaaaand that concludes my first lp! Yay!

Let's Play Internet Roulette Page 3

whoo boy... this page was... lacking.

Beacuase I'm looking for the character Godzilla and not the whole damn media empire, I have to cut the majority of this page from review, since most of it is NOT of Godzilla. Rather, we get Bagorah, Orga, Zilla, Biollante, Baby Zilla, Titanosaurus, Destroyah, King Ghidorah, a cat for some reason, Gigan, and Bagan.

We still get our automatic 20 points though, which is good.

http://zwerg-im-bikini.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-12211628?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=48 This is just awful. In the category "Macabre & Horror." Plus, he's green. Nope.

http://zillamaster91.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Wars-Godzilla-80753866?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=49 And here I was thinking Matt was the only guy working for the comics in the fandom. Turns out EVERY swinging dick has done there fair share of "spiky" Godzilla.

GODDAMN dA! QUIT SELLING ME SHOES! My only weakness... after bullets...

http://ldn-rdnt.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Gojira-199322429?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=51 I don't like this guy. I WANTED to like him, since his "revisionings" are neither strictly realistic nor strictly spiky, and yet are still a wild departure from the original without needing to be... well, stupid. However, some things are taken too far. Also, he's religious, so no thanks.

I WOULD HAVE given this:
http://ldn-rdnt.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-GxU-216072796?q=gallery%3ALDN-RDNT%20randomize%3A1&qo=1 a point though. Too bad it didn't come up on the search... yet? We'll see.

http://kaijusamurai.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-vs-Kiryu-in-SA-258182141?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=58 Jesus christ isn't there anyone ELSE on dA besides Matt? Whatever, it isn't neo so +1.

http://kaijusamurai.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Navy-refurb-114024592?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=66 again, not neo. +1

http://bloodedemon.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-81826343?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=65 and this just isn't good. +0

Page 3 Total: 22

We did better than last time with no crossovers, and adding 22 to our previous total of 44 gives us 66. We are two pages from being done and proving... that Godzilla isn't Sonic, I guess.

Let's Play Internet Roulette Page 2

Before we begin, I want to say that there are two things I don't know how to do:
1. Make the main page cut off the blogs at a certain point so that it doesn't show 7 ENTIRE posts.
2. Make the whole blog not cut pictures of a certain size in half.

And with that, it's time for page 2!

Lets add our automatic 20 points and get going.

http://cyraptor.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-75898793?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=25 This guy rules SO HARD. +1

http://montygog.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-and-Fiends-61809296?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=26 this one is too cool. You could make the case that including King Kong is a crossover... you know, if you're stupid. +1

http://shinleejin.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-129174080?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=27 awesome pixelart. I'm gonna put this... on my face or something. Damn that's cool. +1

http://kaijusamurai.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-vs-The-Transformers-183183988?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=30 You know how we are supposed to SUBTRACT points for crossovers? No, that doesn't make any sense, does it? Well, since it's good, and since the negatives are cumulative, I'm only giving this -4. See, Matt Frank is excellent when he applies himself... to not being a tool.

http://wakabee.deviantart.com/art/godzilla-155677041?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=32 this is just stupid. =/

http://olivier2046.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-81140640?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=33 He's green, what the fuck? No points.

http://kaijusamurai.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Wars-tattoo-design-151487011?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=34 More Matt. More GOOD Matt. +1

http://photoanimeblue.deviantart.com/art/godzilla-83263266?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=35 photography... that ISN'T pretentious? For sure +1.

http://lord-cottonball.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-66765155?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=37 This is one of those "bad" crossovers. -5

http://unlobogris.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-25236760?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=38 Not only does this not look like Godzilla, but it doesn't even look like a real dinosaur, which is what this guy was going for. For proof, look at his mutant vampire Therizinosaur: http://unlobogris.deviantart.com/art/Therizinosaurus-cheloniformis-20603109?q=gallery%3Aunlobogris%20randomize%3A1&qo=1

Now, I'm no Therizinosaur savant or anything... but, uh, I'm pretty sure they weren't vampires. Seriously, I can't get over how horrible that picture is.

http://channandeller.deviantart.com/art/GODZILLA-75993447?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=39 AAAAAAA!!!! I'M OVER IT I'M OVER IT!!! GET IT THE FUCK AWAY!!!

Now is a good time to bring up that all the bad stuff we're seeing is either:
1. a bad photoshop
2. a "revisioning" as if Godzilla were in a Spawn comic
3. a "revisioning" of a "realistic" Godzilla that looks like no other dinosaur that has ever existed (and we WILL be seeing more of that, trust me)
4. People who have never actually seen Godzilla, and apparently think he's green.

Not exactly Sonic-fandom level yet. Moving on.

http://leggedfish.deviantart.com/art/Starry-Godzilla-55557121?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=41 I REALLY like this one. Does it count as a crossover? Eh, it's sort of specified that there be a fandom for it to count in the original rules, so no. +1

http://hellraptor.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-197734246?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=47 *shudders* Godzilla eaten by a snake, I guess. Listen to the description: "i felt of doin Godzilla and this is the result, i reshaped his head, gave him stripes to make him little different than the original, i think he could look something like this in the 2012 reboot."

I can't even... what? You want the next GINO to look like that? This is why I say that Godzilla is dead, because THIS is the fandom now. It is completely unrecognizable to me. All bow before Guilala, the NEW God of Wa... I mean King of the Monsters.

Same difference, though, right?

Page 2 Total: 20 + 6 - 9 = 17

and we had... 27 points last time? So that's 44. We are less than the first time I did this because I'm not counting the neo stuff. It's competent, yes, but it belongs in the category of Spawn comics and... well, I don't need the help. We are only missing out on 7 points anyways.

Next page... uh... tomgirl Godzilla in love with Yongarry? Don't fucking bet on it.

Let's Play Internet Roulette Page 1

I know this may shock some, but I've done some research, and, it turns out, Sonic isn't the only thing on the internet. Gasp in disbelief if you want, but that doesn't change facts, and the facts say that if you search for something you want to see, you will see THAT, and not, you know, Sonic being gay and also anthropomorphized and/or eating a pokemans. True story.

What sort of "research" did I do? Well, a short while ago I was digging through some files on this laptop when I found this:

haha... clever observation. Everything is homogenous! If only it were funny.

So, I played this game. But, in order to make it fair, I've decided that there are, in fact, winners, and after a certain point I wanted to know WHEN that was. Last time I tried this I got to 51 points before being bored, but I was aiming for 100.

So here are the revised rules:

1. Just like the original, pick ANY movie, tv show, or character. It specifically asks for your favorite one. Playing this more than once, you might think to even the odds by picking NOT Sonic. But if you're looking for a challenge, you could also pick Sonic.

2. 1 point for well done fan art. This is supposed to set up that good fan art represents a small an unimportant fraction of the majority of stuff you'll find, as the point value is small comparatively. Actually, it's the other way around in real life, where good fan art is so omnipresent that you can't count too much for it or you'll win 2 pages sooner.

3. This is where the original rules get fuzzy. It's supposed to be if you see a "human as an animal." Well folks, humans ARE animals. So, in order to have this make sense and preserve the original, possibly ignorantly stated intent, the new rule is -10 points for a character that wasn't human turned into one, or vice versa.

4. This one was originally subtract an additional 5 points if a work from rule #3 also contained a crossover or a transgendered character. Because this fellow doesn't seem to know how to speak English, I have to fucking translate for his fucking retarded ass: If you see an image that is a crossover lose 5 points. If you see the character with a gender that they didn't have originally, like, if the character was already a tomboy but is shown to be way more feminine, that's another -5. Rules #3 and #4 are cumulative.

5. The most controversial rule. It seems like this should be something like "minus something point for same sex pairing," but instead it ends up being the key to winning the game. So, if you come across a page that DOESN'T have your character gettin' gay, then it's 20 points. So, just to reiterate: automatic 20 points every page.

6. You win once you have 100 points.

To recap:
- no rule on who you can pick
- +1 for each good fan art
- -10 for humans turned non-human or vice versa
- -5 for crossover or alternate gender of original, negatives cumulative
- +20 for every page... with no gay stuff.
- 100 to win


See, because I like Godzilla, I'm immune to this game. Turns out that's not a joke or anything. You really need to have MUCH crazier fans than the faggots who actually like Zilla to qualify for the joke. However, the rules say I can pick anyone, so whatever.

- PAGE 01 -

Zoomed out. Here you can see that not only are G-fans NOT as crazy as Sonic fans, but a lot of them are great artists. +20

Also, NEW RULE #7: This should go without saying, but, if it ISN'T a picture of your character, it doesn't count towards your total. You will see a lot of Zilla, Space Godzilla, and Mechagodzilla, so that needs to be said.

Cool stuff:
Frank Parr, I believe. For those of you breaking the rules, because Frank Parr is the best, this is worth 100 points. But, for me, +1.

http://kaijusamurai.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-Neo-SUPER-GODZILLA-139271511?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=6 Matt Frank's Neo shit. This is super godzilla. I'm not giving myself points for this darker and edgier "LOOK HOW MANY SPIKES" 90's comic book bullshit. Please, stick to the comic book covers Matt. This crap is sickening. *gets off of soap box.*

http://fritofrito.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-96763319?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=7 MY EYE! Oh GOD IT'S HORRIFYING! I'M SORRY MATT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!

http://dusty-abell.deviantart.com/art/godzilla-30604800?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=8 That's more like it. +1
http://deathrider1551.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-122481977?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=9 Photoshop job. +1

Note: no, I'm not giving points for that Godzilla Neo shit. It's waaaaay too over the top.

http://sedani.deviantart.com/art/GODZILLA-43722546?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=12 ...why is he green? You've never SEEN Godzilla before, have you, sedani?

http://kaijuverse.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-head-65005350?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=13 +1
http://f3ar25.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-79498133?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=16 a... remake? of a Bob Eggleton piece. Eggleton is infallible, so +1.
http://cheungchungtat.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-01-185275549?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=18 It's easy to ignore the Michael Bay vibes when you realize that Godzilla HAS FUCKING WINGS!!! :D +1

http://ron-guyatt.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-207339397?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=20 Looks like the "Godzilla 3D" marquette. Oh wait... I guess I have to specify the one from the 80's. Love that racist lettering. No points for this crap.

http://gojigirl.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-s-hell-76291899?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=21 not only is this NOT a Godzilla/Doom crossover, but it's just a photoshop using Bob Eggleton's stuff. This isn't very good at all...

http://taddgalusha.deviantart.com/art/Godzilla-104191479?q=boost%3Apopular%20Godzilla&qo=23 very pretty. +1

Page 1 Total: 27

Will there be a next time? Probably. I'm cutting this up mostly to make it not just one long blog and also to make it more like an LP.


Xros minis are stupid.

What is this shit? This is fucking stupid. I don't care who the fuck you are, War Greymon doesn't fucking digivolve in Seadramon. That's just stupid.

I love the parallel of the megazords and super organisms (see, because it's multiple multicellular organisms working as one organism... get it? It's cool, dammit), but you can't make that mesh with traditional digivolution.

Like, lets say the original five dinozords are like the champion level, and the megazord is an ultimate/perfect. Okay, cool, makes sense. Because the Dragonzord is about equal to the megazord, it would ALSO be an ultimate, right? Fair enough. And when you have the Dragonzord combine with the other 5 dinozords, you get one that sacrifices speed for power. So, it's still really an ultimate. So the Dragonzord is an ultimate that, because of the technicalities of megazords, digivolves into another ultimate. I can understand that, and it makes perfect sense, especially if you then say Titanus is another ultimate, and the Ultrazord is a mega/ultimate.

But instead of working like that, what the xros minis do is mix in digimon whose level we don't know (or they technically don't have one, ala Ohakadamon or Apocalymon, although Shoutmon is pretty obviously a champion at this point) with older digimon, such as Agumon and Triceramon, who we already know everything about.

So, what you get is, to go back to the analogy, individual zords combining with individual zords, both of which we know the levels of, to get a third individual zord that we also know the level of already. Like, if the Pteranodon and Mastodon combined to get the Triceratops. That's fucking stupid.

That's just the analogy. The reality is that if you xros any of the champion leveled digimon Greymon, Seadramon, Tyrannomon, or Monochromon, or either of the ultimate leveled Metal Greymon or Triceramon, or even the mega level War Greymon or Imperialdramon with the also mega level Magnadramon, the result is the rookie level Dracomon.

This is why the xros minis are stupid.

But more than that, the way that you xros is to beat an A.I. digimon in battle, and what species you kill will determine what the resulting xros will be. So... if you can get a War Greymon by killing ONE enemy, and all of the digimon you can obtain are equal in power anyways... what's the fucking point of even playing it? If you aren't raising your digimon to get a specific one... why ARE you raising it? Wouldn't it be simpler just to let the stupid fucker die?

Or, better yet, just never buy one to begin with? I certainly think so.

I fucking hate these xros minis, dude, I'm serious. I can't wait until like G10 or whatever when the xros thing is old hat and digimon do something that makes more sense. Maybe there will be a mass extinction and only the "metal" digimon will survive or something. Whatever, damn.

This is the dorkiest thing I have ever written...

Great Old One of the undisclosedperiodoftime: Cthynhi

 I've gotten asked about this one, and it's pretty important, so I'm gonna cover this right now.

First Appearance: "In His Daughter's Darkling Womb" by Tina L. Jens, 1997

Tina's story is incredibly important not only to Yog-Sothery, but to the more general and stupid Cthulhu Mythos. The biggest bomb in Yog-Sothery history is dropped in that story. If you follow that sort of thing, you won't need it explained to you, but for the others, let's examine.

Cthylla, one of Cthulhu's daughters (via Idh-yaa, perhaps better known as the Worm That Gnaws, but we'll get to that later), and a Brian Lumley creation, became a central figure in the Cthulhu Mythos when an ancient prophecy revealed that she was the key in continuing Cthulhu's legacy beyond the grave. Yes, while Cthulhu may eventually die by silly human standards, the great god himself would be reincarnated through the womb of his daughter.

What? Yes, not only is Cthulhu going to die, but Cthylla having a child will mean that he is already gone.

So if you want to use Lumley's Cthylla, in order to tell a story that's not contradictory (which, for those Yog-Sothery folks who don't understand, the Cthulhu Mythos people like to maintain a tight continuity and cohesive universe. No, they don't ignore like half of the writers including CAS. Yes, it doesn't make any sense. No, I'm not joking. Yes, people take this very seriously.), you're going to have to kill off the big C himself.

So... that's what Tina did.

So, just to make this as clear as crap:




Now, to normal folks like you and me who don't make the mistake of thinking that all of Yog-Sothery forms a cohesive whole that never contradicts itself, this is really cool, but not that big of a deal. If you go with it, there's about 15,000 other Great Old Ones you can use, and if you don't, no one really cares.

But read that bit off to a hardcore Mythos "scholar?" Pande-fucking-monium. "Cthulhu can't die! He's a god!"

No, no he's not. He's an alien with suspiciously octopus-like DNA, as Tina's story will attest. Yes, Cthulhu's kids have DNA. Weird? Not really, there are still real life scientists who think that all alien life in the entire universe MUST be made of DNA, and it's why we haven't officially recognized some Earthlings as being alive. They're called Nanobacteria, and they will fuck you up, but to some real live professional scientists, they are actually MORE alien than, say, Ghatanothoa.

But wait wait wait wait... hold the phone here. So who's Cthynhi, you ask? Well, Cthynhi IS Cthulhu. Sort of. He is the child of Cthylla and Mike the Mechanical monster (and also, *SPOILER* Katherine whatever her last name was) that is the supposed reincarnation of great Cthulhu himself.

At first Cthynhi seems relatively unremarkable for a great old one. Created via artificial insemination and reverse-genetic-engineered tech talk, the new great Cthulhu is essentially a carbon copy his mother, with no variations in form other than not having any pigment in his body.

But through, I guess magic or something, Cthylla transfers Cthulhu's... I don't know, soul or whatever, into Katherine's womb, creating either an Aryan super baby or a slimey, bloody ball of tentacles most likely analogous to Cthynhi's previous form.

The story is focused on the observation of Cthylla in a controlled environment and the personal crisis Katherine has gone/is going through about her inability to carry a child to term. Her womb is like poison to babies, I guess. Heheh, baby poison. Anwyas, the tone of the story extremely similar to "At the Moutains of Madness" with, if you can believe it, an 100% reliable narrator. Because of this, we learn a lot about the GOOs in the story as hard facts that wont sit well with the CM crowd. Just more reasons to love the story.

But as events wear on, it becomes apparent that Cthylla and her child aren't... all that predictable. Actually, that bit about Cthulhu's "soul" isn't really a joke. Cthylla touches the pregnant Katherine's belly with one tentacle and wraps another one around the young Cthynhi, sends a jolt into Kath, and then neglects Cthynhi, who starts to wither away like a husk. It should be obvious whats happening here.

And that's, unfortunately, all there is to him so far. I haven't seen any other stories featuring Cthynhi other than Tina's. It SEEMS really important, but just as hypocritical as always, CM folks seem to have forgotten this story exists, despite it's strict adherence to the Lumley and Lovecraft canon and Earth-shattering revelations that effect the main character of the series.

But what of Cthulhu? If Cthynhi is Cthulhu's reincarnation, then how did Cthulhu die in the first place? The good news is that there is an answer. The better news is that, if you're still reading, you're going to love it.

 Yep. Godzilla killed him.

Now, sure, Godzilla vs. Cthulhu is not canon to the Heisei series, no one is arguing that. It is, after all, fan fiction. Really good fan fiction that somehow makes this obnoxiously one-sided match seem fair (mostly through superfluous description of how long it takes Cthulhu to launch an "attack"), but fan fiction none the less.

However, it is the ONLY story ever written that gives so much as even a hint of just how Cthulhu is supposed to be dead in 1997. If you've read it, you'll recall that at the end of the "fight" Cthulhu takes a nasty hit from Godzilla's beam and realizes that if he continues to press his luck, he's going to die, and then runs away, hides in his tomb, and, here's the best part, PURPOSEFULLY RE-SINKS R'LYEH TO GET AWAY. So, the fight was near fatal for Cthulhu.

But that's not enough evidence, could Godzilla's beam weapon really be enough to kill Cthulhu in, as far as I can recall, one hit? Oh good lord yes. Follow along with me and let's figure out what happened together:

While the "sealed away by Elder Gods" bit is unique to three specific authors and isn't utilized outside of their work, the fact remains that Cthulhu is sealed underwater. By elder gods? Depends on who you ask, but Lovecraft would have told you that Cthulhu's city sank at an incredibly opportune time to save him from the "stars" because the "stars weren't right." To your average cultist nutjob this sounds like a mystical prophecy regarding the alignment of the stars in the sky. The night sky. Of earth. Well, that doesn't hold up very well to the whole "not being from earth" part, does it?

The tales from when Cthulhu was most active and NOT on earth come from his stay near the double-star Xoth. It was here that Cthylla herself was born, and where there happened to be a metric shit-ton of Great Old One and Outer God related occurances. Take your pick of GOO, I'll bet you dollars to donuts they were active in the Xothic system simultaneously with Cthulhu. So what is it about Xoth that attracted all those monsters, or, perhaps more accurately, all those writers?

Donald Tyson's Necronomicon (the ONLY serious complete effort) tells us that it isn't the alignment of the stars, but their color. Xoth is green. Green is not a color of star that appears naturally. Something was up with Xoth that made it green. When it was green colored, Cthulhu and his kin were thriving. On earth, with a yellow sun, Cthulhu eventually sunk himself until the sun's color was right.

Meaning, you know, green. It's actually incredibly simple, but it doesn't seem to click for a lot of folks. However, there is a sort of failsafe in the necronomicon. While the idea that different colors of radiation (hint), such as the hottest naturally occurring star, blue (hint hint), could be used to actually kill Cthulhu, it wouldn't really kill him because of a poorly worded passage about sigils on another planet that allow the GOOs consciousness to be passed into a different physical body. The exact process through which this occurs is poorly worded, like I just said, probably because it is not understandable in human terms.

Remember now, GOOs are still the children of Outer God's. Physical body or not, there is still something extra-cosmic about them that is literally impossible for us to understand fully. Obviously, this is what is meant by Cthynhi being a "reincarnation." It also means that blue radiation is the most deadly force in the universe to the physical body of (at least) Cthulhu.

So, Godzilla happened.

Now we have a failsafe explanation for the event's of "In His Daughter's Darkling Womb," as GXC occurs in between Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla and Godzilla vs. Destroyah, somewhere around 1995. But how can a non-canon fanfic in one continuity count as a viable prequel for something in another?

That answer, my friends, is the most glorious thing about Yog-Sothery. It's not a media empire. There is no singular controlling force. Ideas and names flow freely to be reinvented and reinterpreted throughout the decades from an innumerable number of perspectives and styles. James Ambhuel and the CoC rpg have also written Godzilla into the "Mythos" as well.

Now, for all the macho posturing this blog does, it's important to remember that I really do hate the "Mythos," and that Yog-Sothery is the real deal. Because of this, I don't really care whether someone wants to write a story about Cthulhu taking place in 29X6, it's all gravy. What IS important here that in the "Mythos" you do not have the luxury of NOT using Cthynhi, since he replaced your main character.

And that's really all that Cthynhi is notable for, honestly. We've seen one possible way a GOO can be born, but the monster itself is just an octopus/human hybrid. The story is far more remarkable than the monster itself, which, depending on who you ask, might be a good thing.

And having concluded my discussion of the controversy that Cthynhi creates, there isn't any more to say about the little bugger except that I hope somepony uses him again. I would like to see a grown up Cthynhi. That would be hella-sick.

Next time: probably Hoppwood Tenant or... naw, I'll save him for later. Maybe a classic, like a CAS one or something. I'll figure it out later. 

You know what Google? Fuck you. No, seriously, fuck you to hell

So I just found out SDA sent me an email. That's Scott David Aniolowski for the non-cool kids. This was in response to that big ass post I made about the GOO family tree.

Thing is, Google+ is fucking bullshit. It ruined everything forever and I hate it. I told Google to delete my fucking account but it was like "no thanks."

Why is that important? My Google+ page was basically an unbelievably private thing that I only used for one extremely specific purpose related to an extremely small group of people who were really close friends at the time. When that purpose was negated, it didn't need to exist anymore.

But Google+ is NOT gmail, right? So why does my Google+ name (which I FUCKING DELETED) show up on my emails? Probably I'm the only one that cares, but it pisses me off in ways I could have never imagined.

So in case my last post wasn't a clear enough indication, I'm never signing up for any social networking site ever again ever. If they can come in and change whatever the fuck they want on your god damn email, then I can't trust them ever again. Any of them. Fuck them all to hell. I hope google goes bust and yahoo wins.

But in case you're wondering, the name was a joke based on a video game that CERTAIN FAGGOTS (>=/) took WAAAAAY too seriously. I'm not looking forward to explaining that crap in the future.

Also, since I've gotten a lot of attention for writing about Yog-Sothery, I'm going to continue that trend, I suppose.